It is with practice that we see the old
transition to the new.
The old, becomes a distant memory.
The new, cultivates a freshly blossomed companion.
The last few weeks for me have been extraordinary. I have been recovering from an upper respiratory infection that has still not completely left. That being said, I've never been so grateful to be out of commission. As you may already be aware from reading my articles, I am a firm believer that we are being led by a force greater than ourselves and that everything happens with purpose. We may not understand that purpose from the get go, but eventually if we are wide awake enough to see it, it will show itself.
We were assigned in my yoga course to choose a yama. Yamas are disciplines concerning our dealings with society and the world. Examples are: non-violence, non-stealing, chastity, non-attachment, and truthfulness. After reading through the examples our instructor wanted us to share the yama we would focus on for two weeks. I thought and thought but none of them were speaking to me at the time. So as I've learned over the last while, to just sit in silence and let it show itself to me. And did it ever!
The very next morning on Wednesday, I woke up with a sore throat and felt terrible. I knew I was getting sick. I had an incredibly busy week loaded with clients. I feared for only a second about the loss of money in having to cancel so many appointments and trying to reschedule those cancelled appointments to an already overly booked schedule. Then I said to myself, "I am sick and need to take care of myself. The Universe has my back and will sort all of this out. I am letting go and letting the Universe do her thing!" By Saturday I was feeling well enough to keep those appointments. I worked a full day and felt on the mend. Sunday morning however, was a different story.
Sunday morning I knew I was getting really sick and that I would be down for awhile. My birthday was coming up and I had people traveling out of town for planned dinners and celebrations. Again, I just let it all go. I knew no matter how much I had planned, the Universe always has a better plan. So I just went with it. Later in the week I was starting to get my pep back. Friday morning was when the entire experience began to sum itself up for me. I asked if I could observe a Tibetan Yoga class. That was when I had the most incredible conversation with the instructor. Being so moved and inspired from that conversation, I was able to go home and reflect on the last couple of weeks.
For as far back as I can remember, I have clung to outcomes of situations. In order for me to put my heart on the line, I wanted a guaranteed outcome. And if that didn't happen, I would think I was being punished. I would feel sorry for myself and become angry and bitter. When I first moved out on my own three years ago, finances were my obsession. I was always feeling like I was lacking and that what "little" money I had would be pulled out from under my feet and my life would come crashing down. Time and time again I would worry. But in the end, it always ended up being just fine. I worked very hard only to keep my head barely above water, but I always had exactly what I needed.
The above example has happened so many times in the last few years that when I started delving into my spiritual practice I felt an abundance of strength because I knew I was being held up and taken care of. As one of my favorite yogis says, "Keep up and you will be kept up". This is the truth. I never doubt this for a second now because I have lived it enough to know.
So the yama that revealed itself to me was non-attachment. I realized that I have practiced this enough and have converted faithfully within the practice of just knowing. I don't have crazy expectations anymore. I don't need to try to force outcomes. I don't need to barter with the Universe for what "should" be. I accept what is. And what I need I already have. For two weeks I was not attached to any of the outcomes, loss of finances, and possible cancellation of plans. And what I got in return was abundance. Abundance of well being, gratitude, appreciation, love and yes, financial security. I've learned in faithfully letting go, I see the true abundance that is always in front of me.
The article from Monday, One Year Later, was a letter of gratitude to the Universe. It was an acknowledgment of my practice. No matter what has fallen apart, the cracks in all that is broken are simply a separation of parts and pieces to create room to grow within the new space between. It is taking what we have learned and using it to create something better. I have had a lot of breakage, but from that I have practiced a new way of being. Our past, until we learn a more expansive way of being, will always be in our present. When our intention is to breathe through the dust and rubble, when all settles, we see the new view that is before us.
How have you learned to let go and just accept what is? What yama is calling to you? How do you see it show up in your life? Share with us, we would love to hear from you!
As always with love,
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
©2013 Jennifer Fremion. All rights reserved.