Tuesday, August 20, 2013

A New Exploration

Feel your feelings as they are.
There you will find all of the answers.


Life is an exploration.  From start to finish, we are always looking for the answer to something.  Trial and error is a major part of life from our earliest memories.  Yet, how do we start to form patterns and habits in our behavior? Often times we look to our parents, then as we get older our friends and we find trends that we inherently and inadvertently take on ourselves.

For me, I started a new exploration that was my spiritual journey.  I left my marriage in the hopes of finding happiness and all else that I had lost along the way.  I never thought that my journey however, would be this journey.  I wanted happiness, peace and comfort in life.  I had to get down to the nitty gritty in order to do so.  I was brought to my knees countless amounts of times, until finally a light came on inside and I realized this can't be the path to happiness.  So I stopped, listened and for the first time followed my intuition in which I had spent a lifetime ignoring.

This new exploration was a life of actually having my heart be heard.  Having faith in my heart that it had all of the answers.  This wasn't an overnight process and yet it was.  I made the decision to not ignore what my intuition was telling me.  That was my first step. The following steps allowed me to explore the feelings that ensued with each action I took. And this was key.

I had spent my entire life, shelving my feelings and shoving them down as deep as possible.  I walked around constantly smiling, but I wasn't smiling on the inside.  Something had gone terribly wrong.  I had forgotten how to feel.  I developed this as a young child and then excelled at it in my marriage.  My marriage was a farce. I was lying to myself to the point that I stopped feeling at all.  I literally was carrying around so much pain, I felt numb.  I felt absolutely nothing.  I had disassociated from my feelings in order to tolerate the lifestyle I had created for myself.

So my exploration began with a promise to always listen to my intuition.  The next step was to be able to feel again.  And feel I did.  Emotions came over me like giant waves in the ocean.  I felt every emotion to the nth degree. It was overwhelming at times.  But along the way something kept telling me to just go with it.  It was going to hurt and hurt badly, but at least I could feel my heart again.  Over time, the emotions settled and became tolerable.  Then I began to feel a balance again.  It felt like a long lost friend that I couldn't remember the last time I had seen, but I was ecstatic to see it again!

After the dust settled my new exploration took an even bigger turn.  I wanted big answers.  I wanted to know why I was here, what all of my life meant up until that point, where it was that I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing.  That next step was becoming as close as possible to my heart and to my Divine.  I began to read ferociously. Material written by many of my life teachers such as Michael Singer, whom I featured in yesterday's article.  My studies brought me even deeper into mediation and yoga.  I heard in an interview with Gabby Bernstein as she talked about her own journey say, "When the student is ready, the teacher will come."  And come they did.  I couldn't read fast enough to quench my desire for this new way of life.  It felt like home.  Even though these were "new" concepts, part of me felt like I had known them all along.

The flood gates were now open.  My eyes became open and even more so, my heart became open.  Life wasn't a big question of worry anymore.  Life became a question of, what can I do to make this the best life possible?  I cannot express to you the importance of exploring your inner most questions.  Exploring what it is you are feeling and why?  Exploring what this all means and what is the big picture?  When we start asking the big questions, we end up finding the big answers.

Don't fear life.  When you feel fear realize you are entering on new ground that will bring new experiences and bigger discoveries.  Embrace life.  Embrace your own path.  Find and discover it in your own unique way.  Discover life's big offerings and you will discover wrapped up in them your very own offerings to the world.  You are the completeness to this perfect Universe.  Your exploration is the road map to Divine perfection.

What is the road map you have been following on your own exploration?  Share with us, we would love to hear from you!

As always with love,


Email me at jfremionfw@gmail.com.

©2013 Jennifer Fremion. All rights reserved.

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