This is a message
purely for your heart.
I want for everyone who reads this article today to know how deeply and profoundly you are loved. I have spent the last two weeks in conversations that have unexpectedly turned into coaching sessions. People expressing hurt in their adulthood that they have carried with them since childhood. None of us are born unhappy. None of us are born with projecting emotions of hurt. It is in these instances that we have been sold the rawness of pain by another person. Whether it is a parent, sibling, friend, neighbor or total stranger, when someone passes their pain and unhappiness onto you, it isn't because you deserve it. It doesn't define who you are. It simply means you were in the line of fire when their emotional gun went off.
When we carry the burden of someone else's pain, we have bought into the raw deal in which they've sold us. This becomes not only our belief and way of life, it becomes our definition of self. When our definition of self is polluted with someone's misconstrued version of the truth, we have forgotten the core of who we and they are. That core is the center of our Source, which is love. When we separate from this, we attempt to carry convoluted opinions of who and what we think others should be, as well as who we think we are.
The truth of the matter is, when we don't identify with our Source, which and of whom is love, we feel we want to be right instead of understand what is different. We want to get the last word in order to feel right, instead of hearing and learning of another way. We begin to feel our passion is a righteousness into intensity of proving that one way is the only right way. We make people feel like outsiders instead of inviting them in. In attempting to do all of this, we are carrying on the pattern of disconnect. And we in turn are disconnecting not just others, but ourselves from the understanding that we are all connected at our core. When our core is forgotten, our ego steps forth and divides.
We must bring up and surface whatever it is that lays buried in order to heal. We must detach the action and the person. When someone projects pain, it is because they are hurting. When someone judges and doesn't accept another, it is because they judge and don't accept themselves. I talked in an earlier article about a meditation I learned from Deepak Chopra, about seeing our Creator in everyone's eyes. When we learn to bring this practice into our lives as a way of life, we can then see beyond the pain that is being projected, and see the other as a person in need. A person who is in desperate need of being reminded of their hidden truth, which is love.
I had someone talk to me about the emotional and mental abuse they suffered as a child at the hands of their own parent. The abuse was never talked about. It was pretended as if it never happened. Yet it was relived in every cell of their being everyday and in ways they never realized. I talked to them about the release of truth when they are no longer bound to holding someone else's secret. To know that they weren't abused because they deserved it. They simply were in the line of fire. The life they have been living is a direct reflection of how someone else taught them to define themselves and life itself. As a terrible, ungrateful, embarrassment of a child. These words buried very deeply their own truth. The troublesome life they have been living is because they bought into what someone else sold them. At the time of the deal, they were too young to know better. They trusted that what this person said about them was true. It was their parent, their hero. Now as an adult, their parent has become their enemy.
So how do we reconnect? We reconnect through love and understanding. We pray for those who hurt others and we pray for those who have been hurt. We have to build boundaries of distinction between loving actions and thoughtless actions. But behind both we must make the attempt to understand where each come from. It starts with knowing that we are love because that is the Source from which we were created. You may have walked the path of the misguided and then continued on not knowing any better. You may have at some point made a wrong turn on your purpose. But you made the right turn at the time for your life's story. It is all interconnected. That is why all paths can and will lead to home if we are open enough to allow them to.
We have been given appropriate tests and challenges in life. It is our duty to sift through what stays and what goes. Who is light and who is dark. No matter what the test may be, the lesson lay within understanding. We will have sign posts to direct our way. All of our sign posts are different. Our estimated time of arrival will be different. When we live through acceptance of what is, instead of who is right or wrong or how things should be, we come from a place of understanding the very message that love is the core and center of not only us, but of it all.
How are you reminded of your love? How do you express that love? Do you express love to those who meet you with dissidence? Share with us, we would love to hear from you!
As always with love,
Follow me on Twitter @jfremion.
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
©2013 Jennifer Fremion. All rights reserved.