Friday, June 28, 2013

When There Are No Words

Know that it is only time, not
love that can be lost.


I had a conversation with a friend earlier this week.  The same friend I mentioned had received potential grave news with her father's cancer diagnosis.  Well that potential has turned into a definite.  Now I see cancer patients everyday.  As a nurse in the hospital I would see new cancer diagnoses and as a nurse in hospice I would see the end stage of the disease.  There were new relationships that I built with patient's that in their physical body, lasted only a short time here on Earth.  But in the spiritual sense, I will carry them in my heart forever.

My challenge still is and always has been with all of my patient's, their families and now my dear friend, is what to say to someone who is grieving.  We have the standards of "I'm so sorry for your loss", "I'm thinking of you and your family", "I can't imagine your pain", and I've used them all.  But none of them seem right.  None of them seem good enough.  Mostly, none of them can take away the pain their heart is suffering.

In reality, there are no words that can erase the burden of grief.  Only the depths of the love determines the depths of the pain.  Only love and time can ease the heartache, yet it never completely disappears.  It is a knife to the heart, a fist to the gut, a knock to the wind in our very soul that each of us must come into contact with through our physical life countless amounts of times.  Loss is a part of life.  But it is a chosen few that we are fortunate enough have pull and hold onto our heartstrings, and never let us go.

The truth is, there are no words that can express, that can in an instant fill the emptiness, the very hole that resides in our spirit as someone leaves us.  So if it's not something that we can say that can help, is there something we can do instead? 

We can wholeheartedly offer up our availability.  To just be present to love, support, to hold, to hurt and grieve along side them.  To give love and show love in the biggest way of just being there. Most of all to be reminded in life that you must love like you've never lost. And to know that it is only time, not love that is ever lost.  We have moment after moment, day after day to be assiduous with our words, actions, thoughts and intentions to give the most of ourselves which is giving the most of our hearts.  We must remember to do this because our love will remain, it is our time that is limited.

Words are beautifully important, don't get me wrong I use them everyday.  That being said it is our actions that make the words come alive and become "something" we can hold in our mind, our hands, and our hearts.  It is putting things into action that makes the memories that we keep alive in our own minds.  Without my action in life, these words wouldn't really mean much at all because no one would get to see or experience them.

I had a dream shortly after my grandfather passed away.  He was walking through a crowd of people to get to me.  And when the crowd cleared he said, "There's my girl, there's my girl."  Then he wrapped his arms around me so tightly.  I can still feel that hug to my core to this very day. He has been gone for over a decade.  Even after he left this physical world, because he loved so greatly, I carry that love with me now and for always.  Again it is only time that we lose, never love.

So to honor those who have left, those who must leave soon, and to those who are grieving we have to act in love now.  Now is the time that counts.  We don't have to look for the perfect thing to say or do.  All we have to do is lean on love and we will be divinely guided in our ways, for always.

How do you love greatly?  Who has loved you greatly?  Share with us, we would love to hear from you!

As always with love,


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